You are currently browsing the monthly archive for October 2008.
After a week of classes, everything is working itself out. Even though I’m retaking my class, I do not feel as ashamed or as embarrassed anymore. We are repeating the EXACT same material I went over before, so it should be interesting considering I’ve done practically all the homework now that we have an actual teacher for our class (as opposed to our sub.). I will use the time for practicing other things instead. I’m taking this weekend off to do some things that are important for my future and for myself: a potential job, some papers for a class extension from the summer, and peace corps research. Hopefully it won’t be painfully boring. I think I need to go work out before my host mom gets home for supper, so I’ll keep this short and sweet.
I’m currently downloading ubuntu for my EEEPC, we’ll see what it ends up looking like with a dual boot. If worst comes to worst, I think I might try and buy a movie to download or something. Lastly, I think Obama is going to win this presedential election, I foresee no other way he could lose it at this point no matter what McCain does. I only hope nobody will assinate him for becoming so. =/
Oh, yeah, and Adobe Photoshop is an awesome program for photo manipulation when you learn it. I really can’t wait to use it more in my Photography class.
I’m off, happy halloween all. Enjoy the quality programming of chain saw murders and all those frightening things.
No vea una fantasma!
The simple problem when faced amongst many problems is: “When should I give up?” Everyone has that certain breaking point where everything collapses. Everything fails. Everything comes grinding to a hault like a thousand freight trains dashing into each other before an abruption to its’ rolling trends. I’ve experienced that recently. I’ve always wondered if there is some sort of malfunction under which I just simply cannot take in new information. It seems as though my body clams up like a person watching a horror film during midnight under layers of blankets on a cold halloween night. However, what makes me different from the rest is my extraordinarily ability to withstand the pain, to work through every blemish like a painter putting on a second layer of paint to a weathered home.
In recent days, it has been difficult. It has not been the easiest to talk about it either. Where do you being when you barely miss the required grade for passing onto the next level of spanish. Something mechanically is errored in my thinking in spanish. I feel like I can communicate much better and more fluantly than I ever did 2 monthes ago. Has this always been there? Where am I missing things? It is obvious to me that I was never very good at English, maybe this is all coming in full circle?
Now, it would be a crime to belittle myself of the dignity of knowing I’ve slaved away in preparation for this last exam. Not to mention, I’ve been constantly asking gramatical questions to my host parents or my american host-brother here in Costa Rica. At the end of the day, it just wasn’t enough. Even with an exam, which was anywhere but fair to contest my grade, I am again in Intermediate Spanish 1. It’s quite embarrassing, I feel like I’ve failed myself, my host parents, and my future. However, when I step back and think about it, most people here have had spanish beyond mine coming here. At the very least, some have had to take a class possibly over again too. So, why should I be so upset. I am, because I tried so hard. I poured so much time and effort into trying to best this language. However, it is hard, I am older than some of these people (not helping my cause), and I didn’t do well in English either. So, maybe that should reassure me… It just doesn’t though.
I want to be better, I am very competitive, and I hate being the left behind. I will have to study more and more and more. I grow tired of doing so because it involves sacrifice and it isn’t always the most exciting thing to do nor the most popular. I wish I could just wave a magic wand and start understanding these holes in my learning. However, it is never this simple, and I hold this as truth higher than most others. I can’t look back though much more. I must look forward. I need outside internet websites with grammatical explanations because that’s all I can do at the end of the day. It is hard explaining grammar in Spanish, and it just is not explained thoroughly as I need. I need some English to understand the transitional ideas along with the other concepts of Spanish. I will change for myself, and I will do better. Enough with this discussion though, I want to move on.
Nicaragua, I went there this last weekend. What much can be said. I saw beautiful beautiful buildings, people who were more friendly than Costa Ricans, and more poor than I have ever seen in one place at one time. I actually saw a person who was dying in a church, which still haunts my imagery from time to time. I came with a friend of mine, and I was hoping we’d really have fun. However, it was evident she didn’t have time for me to make one simple error anywhere along the way. The error: losing of a ticket and having to buy another, and because of this, the whole weekend I was treated different than before. I will probably not talk to this girl again or at least sparingly at best. It’s weird how people can change so dramatically from initial experiences. It’s almost as if she wanted to not like me or had some hidden reasoning for treating me so poorly. I thought we had gotten along fine and were good friends, I thought wrong. I’ve never seen someone change their personality so dramatically, and despite my efforts to make things better, nothing worked. During my stay, we found some other friends and it diffused the situation some until the final trip back to Costa Rica. I simply buried myself in a book and ignored her as much as possible though and things were better. I am reading a book called The Kite Runner. It’s an amazing book, and I read over 2/3rds of the book over the weekend. If you haven’t read it before, it is highly recommendable.
In other news, we’re starting to get together an all american soccer team to battle other teams in soccer. This includes another american team and other “ticos” (costa ricans). I’m really excited to play and I think everyone else is as well. It should start soon and I couldn’t be more extactic to start playing again. Anyways, I’ve talked more than I need to for one day. I need to head out to work out and do some homework. I’m going to see a movie tonight, and I need to figure out which later.
Time to wake up my senses and shake off the wounds. Nothing is over, and although I’ve been down. I am not out.
So, I think I said something about pictures, so I will start by giving you some from Jacó. Here they come at you:
(Jacó during the day)
(Jacó beach)
(Jacó during sunset)
In other news, I am finishing my last day of intermedio uno or intermediate one of spanish. I’m reallly stoked to finish and start the next class next week. In the mean time I plan on traveling to Nicaragua on Saturday. I’m going with a friend of mine, and we are going to work on getting the tickets and finanilizing plans for it. I bought the book “The Kite Runner” for the trip because it will be 9 hours to Granada, Nicaragua.
Lately, I’ve really felt better about myself. I’ve made better decisions, stuck to my guns, have drank almost nothing at all within about a month, and have changed my medications to bring about a metamorphosis in my life. I’ve felt more awake, more alive, and more at peace with who I am or what I am doing than in a long long time. Pieces of a former life put into perspective, and everything else in between coming at ends with itself. It’s sometimes hard being away from home, but I feel like these changes couldn’t take place without a little distance and some time to clear my head. I’ve seen a lot of people here trying to fill their lives with worthless things that mean nothing in my mind. This has only further pushed me into my own natural habitat away from these things, and into my own sphere of thinking.
It is hard because it is difficult to hang out with friends when you want to due to complications in meeting. However, I’ve filled my life with more moderation and a steady hand when confronted by new temptations or tribulations. In all, I’ve been able to find small blessings in my life and keep my head held high no matter the challenges that seem to perk up. Language is difficult, challenging, but rewarding all in one. I must always keep that in perspective, and I will not betray myself.
I did really well on my last pictures I took during a run to Cartago, a city close by that is more native and has an amazing basillica under which I took pictures. Compared to some in Poland, it pales in comparison. However, it is wonderful to see a different style and another catholic culture so devouted towards God. You can’t help but feel the very presence of God in these places, and the peacefulness of silent prayer all around you.
(The Basillica for which I don’t know the name of in Cartago)
But yes, a test tomorrow and I need to study and sleep more than I am going to get if I continue at this rate. Good night all, love.
Somehow with the arrival of many different students to San José has changed many dynamics of living here. In many ways, it has helped, in others worse. However, I maintain my true focus which is Spanish. When I first came here, I vowed to myself to push myself to the extreme to learn Spanish, and to not give up no matter how high the mountain can sometimes seem. I’ve done that. It is hard for me to say that some of these people here will be my best friends, and I don’t feel like I will regard Costa Rica or San José as my ultimate destination. However odd that is from an outside perspective, it is true. Nonetheless, I am here, and I am making the best of what I have.
Everyday is another lesson in language in not only spanish, but english. I’ve understood more and more, and somehow hear my mom in the back of my mind telling me the gramatical rules of english when I’m learning Spanish’s. It’s been a long time not seeing my family, and maybe that’s a part of my mom that will always be with me in time no matter the circumstance. Too many late night papers with my mom in her pajamas helping me while I plan for another tiring night at the computer. I will never be able to repay that for my mom, but you know what, I loved just the chance to spend time with her. That was our time, and something I guess I miss, eventhough she is still helping me with my resume now. Yeah, I guess you could say I miss my family, heh.
Someone once said to me that when they looked back on the hardest times of their life, those were the best times of his entire life. I can’t help but feel that life has to be like that. Nothing gold stays, and nothing golden comes easy. Maybe that’s how it is meant, and how it should, and always will be. Atleast once you come to the peace of mind to self-realize some of these things, they can sometimes comfort you when confronting obstacles that seem bigger than you. Spanish has obstacles, and boy do they sometimes drive you up a wall. I really can understand people trying to learn english, and all their frustration attatched to it. Language can never make sense sometimes, but memorization helps. Sometimes, that’s the only way you can learn it, and that’s the truth. But, enough of me… what about all the rest?
The most important thing right now happening in my life is my niece being born. She was just born this last Thursday, and I could not be more excited than to see her soon. Her name is “Ella,” which reminds me of a Teaching Assistant’s name in China. I’m sure she can’t be any further away from cute than what the pictures have shown me thus far. Christmas should be a grand festival this year, and I’m looking forward to seeing what is concocted by my family.
In other news here, I’ve sort of dropped trying to do Taekwondo Class, as much as I want to do it. It’s been an unpredictable as to how many people will actually show and I’ve been getting really frustrated with the guy teaching it. It seems he tells people to come and at a certain time, but he can never be on time. Now, the man is a very christian guy, a nice guy, and I feel bad not going because I think I may be the most hardcore person for martial arts. On the other hand, it is a two row street, and I need some more concrete plans on this program. It seems to be his leisurely plan on when to have this start, and he even said next year it will probably become a credited class. I wish that could have been this year, but I’m not going to be upset either way. I’ve practiced some of what I already know at gym down the road that has a punching bad anyways.
My photography class, what can I say about this, other than the guy is a jerk. Really, I don’t think I’ve met more of an arrogant, stuck up, two-faced man in my life. I hate ragging on this guy, but honestly he is no good. I love the class, but dislike the guy. He tries to pretend he is funny by making fun of people during class or accusing them of something he knows is not true. However, he does this in a manner that is very crude and insulting, and I strictly do not care for this man’s idea of humor. Not only this, but he demands absolute perfection for a photography class that no one can get a 10/10 for a weekly assignment without actually doing it over the next time. Only one person has even gotten this in two weeks. He is out of his mind. One guy had them near perfect, and criticized his work for not having sun in it eventhough we had to take it outside and there was no sun inbetween the 2 days of our second class. I don’t know what else to say about this guy. I do enjoy learning Adobe Photoshop, and new techniques to use for my camera, and for that I do enjoy this class.
Lately beside these things, I’ve been working out because rain has hindered our soccer plans, and boy do I crave a game so bad right now. Other than that, I’ve been working on my resume which is hopefully going to be finalized soon and sent to a possible job in Mexico City for an electric company. Secondly, I’ve been working on my Absentee Ballot for this upcoming election. I can only hope, whoever is elected, will lead the U.S. in a new, better direction. I think that will be the case.
This weekend I went to Jacó beach, which is only about two hours from San José. It was a beautiful beach that was totally different from the others I have been to so far. I went with my brother in my host family (Dan). Dan and I had a lot of fun, but I estimate Dan had more. Jacó is a beach known for surfing, and although I tried, Dan was visually superior in talent than I. I tried to get up on waves, but I had no luck. It was very similar to the idea of wake boarding, or so it reminded me of, and I am also terrible at that. So, I gave up after my first 2 hours of trying. However, this did not stop me from having a good time with people I met from the hostile. I met people from all over: Norway, Germany, England, New Zealand, Canada, USA. It was simply amazing. I will need to show some pictures when I find the time to upload them. I am getting tired and want to read some from The Counte of Monte Cristo which has been quite a pleasure in my free time on my computer. Typically, I read it right before bed or a nap. Nonethelss, it is a great book over 50 pages into it.
Alright, I need to get off the computer, love you all and hope it isn’t starting to get too cold yet! It rains a ton, so don’t feel too jeleious because you shouldn’t yet.
I’m not quite sure where I left off with my life. However, let me catch everyone up to speed. I will try to do a better job in the future of updating my blog. I know I have not been the best lately. Okay, so I went to Tamariendo beach, Panama, and now Arenal/Monte Verde for this weekend.
Tamariendo wasn’t anything super fabulous. I went there about 2 weeks ago. A lot of people sold drugs there, and I got offered too many times. However, inside my group I had fun and I did enjoy the place overall. It was a nice beach and nice hotels to stay at very close to the beach. However, it was very similar to Manuel Antonio.
(friends at the beach of Tamariendo
Panama I went to last weekend. The destination was Bocas del Turo. That was amazing and I highly suggest anyone go there if they can. In fact, I wish I would have taken classes here. Not that I don’t enjoy Costa Rica. However, It was so sunny and pleasant there, it was hard to return. In the end though, Costa Rica is another home and always will have some familiarity attatched to it. I was able to do snorkeling in the caribean waters, see dolphins, and go to the red frog beach there. Everything was a lot cheaper to buy there too than in Costa Rica. Additionally, they accepted American dollars too! In all, a very relaxing vacation and makes me want to see Nicaragua as well! After the first class of Spanish: basic 2 was over. Now, I’m in Intermediate Spanish 1, with 2 the next month.
(Danielle and Me at Costa Rica to Panama Crossing, the bridge was pretty dangerous)
The first week of classes were amazing. I signed up for an ecological photography class that combines ecology, photography, and adobe photoshop into one nice class. We are going to take pictures and use photoshop to enhance or change our images. Along with this, we will learn more about the environment and have 2 field trips for taking pictures. On the Spanish side, I have an easier to understand professor who isn’t rushing through class as fast as my last. I love them both, but atleast I feel more comfortable this time around and it helps my development in spanish.
To this weekend, I went to Arenal and Monte Verde. Arenal was special because of its volcano that is currently active. It’s crazy to see in person. When you are in the nearby town or Arenal, you have to tilt your head quite a bit just to see it through the clouds (if you can see it). We were able to swim in the hot springs of the waters of Arenal that are heated by the volcano. On the bad side of this, it was pouring rain while we did. Nonetheless, it was fun and we had a nice dinner afterward. The next day we left for a waterfall fortuna in Costa Rica. This was a huge waterfall, and I felt like I was actually experiencing an authentic, costa rican, tropical environment. Most people swum in the pool around it, however, I took a lot of pictures and just admired the beauty. Later we went to Monte Verde.
On our trip to Monte Verde, we all took a “Jeep-Boat-Jeep” tour to the location. In this journey, we were able to see the vast, hilly countryside of Costa Rica with all tropical places adorning the remoteness. It was serene, and very relaxing. Upon our arrival across the lake. We took jeeps on a pretty treacherous incline on gravel roads. However, it was all part of the adventure. When arriving, we were able to see a place that looked like the Zakopane mountains in Poland with a much more misty atmosphere. We spent most of that night hanging out and talking and eating later at a nice “tree house” restaurant. The next day we were able to do some ziplinning across some of Monte Verde’s finest scenery. I couldn’t believe the lush, emerald country we witnessed while zipping across vast valleys. Not to mention, being able to do a Tarzan swing that was really funny to see peoples’ reaction to when you drop first before swinging. In all, it was a great trip. The trip was well worth the expense for the amount of traveling, eating, and accommodating. Now, I have to work more on future plans post-Costa Rica even though it is far away. Not to mention, I need to transfer my new photos and get some sleep! Night, and thanks for waiting for the update! Lastly, I have Taekwondo tomorrow and Soccer. I hope to get a Taekwondo belt before I leave as well! I think this could become a reality too! I absolutely love it. Night all.
With love.
Here’s some pictures:
(Costa Rican country-side)
(Waterfall Fortuna)
(Our Hotel in Monte Verde)
