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today (technically) is the downhill rush, and nothing can stop me now. I just hope all the studying helped as much as it could have. I really would like to do very well on this test. We’ll see what happens, it won’t be easy. Anywho, last day of spanish class, photography class, and taekwondo. I hope to have a yellow belt by the end of the night.
I saw The Day The Earth Stood Still tonight in a movie theater with comfortable chairs, however, they didn’t accent the movie. In fact, the movie is garbage, do not even bother. Any who, I had fun being with friends.
I’ll update more later I’m sure.
When you thought everything couldn’t get crazier before you leave Costa Rica, yes, it does. I just found out today that I have a presentation tomorrow. This is following: an interview tonight, 3 pages of homework, an outline for our next presentation due on Friday, and more other work that I have to do for other classes.
It is simply crazy how much work I will have to do before I leave. Not only is this going to happen, but I will have another test in my photography class over Adobe Photoshop, turn in my final project for photography class, another test in my Spanish class along with a presentation practicing all my forms I’ve learned thus far (a díos mio), my china papers due, and practing for my taekwondo test for my yellow belt next Thursday. Yes, it couldn’t possibly get any crazier than now.
I really wish I had more time for all this, so therefore, sleep will most likely be sacrificed. However, on a bright note, I completed my china papers today. Now, all I have to do is review them and send them in. It’s coming together, slow and steady.
I just don’t want to let my group down, I need to know 10 sentences for tomorrow for my presentation memorized. Not to mention, do the other 3 pages. Alright, time to get back to work. I will feel much better once this presentation is over tomorrow.
Bueno, yo voy a preparar para mi presentación.
So I found out a bit of good news. I scored a 92% on my Spanish test. This was tied for the highest score with a fellow colleague of mine. I couldn’t believe it. The teacher congratulated both of us too. I couldn’t feel more relaxed about the end of this semester, now that I have some buffer room for mistakes. It’s always easier starting out high and ending up a little lower than the other way around. Furthermore, we’re learning subjunctive. I believe this could be the last tense we learn. However, I am not entirely sure. We will have to wait and see.
In other news, I went to a fair with Carlos and Ana this weekend, I had an absolute blast. I danced with Ana to some Costa Rica music, and she loved it. We also got to see where a bull fight is, experience some fair food, and see a mall called: “plaza del oeste” a mall on our way home. It played wonderful x-mas music by a high school band (more than likely), meanwhile we enjoyed some tiny hamburgers. The only REAL reason we stopped there in the first place was because I had to go to the bathroom REALLLLLLLLYYY bad. However, it was really cool to stop there.
Well, the sun is out, it’s an absolute gorgeous day outside. I really couldn’t ask for more. It is actually making it harder for me to see myself leaving now. I mean, we have less than two weeks now, 13 days to be exact. After all the rain, we deserve some nice days!
Well, I heard it’s not going well for everyone else, and don’t you worry, I’ll be home soon enough to share the blistering cold with you.
I’m off to do something, maybe homework, maybe a nap, I don’t know.
Love.
The simple problem when faced amongst many problems is: “When should I give up?” Everyone has that certain breaking point where everything collapses. Everything fails. Everything comes grinding to a hault like a thousand freight trains dashing into each other before an abruption to its’ rolling trends. I’ve experienced that recently. I’ve always wondered if there is some sort of malfunction under which I just simply cannot take in new information. It seems as though my body clams up like a person watching a horror film during midnight under layers of blankets on a cold halloween night. However, what makes me different from the rest is my extraordinarily ability to withstand the pain, to work through every blemish like a painter putting on a second layer of paint to a weathered home.
In recent days, it has been difficult. It has not been the easiest to talk about it either. Where do you being when you barely miss the required grade for passing onto the next level of spanish. Something mechanically is errored in my thinking in spanish. I feel like I can communicate much better and more fluantly than I ever did 2 monthes ago. Has this always been there? Where am I missing things? It is obvious to me that I was never very good at English, maybe this is all coming in full circle?
Now, it would be a crime to belittle myself of the dignity of knowing I’ve slaved away in preparation for this last exam. Not to mention, I’ve been constantly asking gramatical questions to my host parents or my american host-brother here in Costa Rica. At the end of the day, it just wasn’t enough. Even with an exam, which was anywhere but fair to contest my grade, I am again in Intermediate Spanish 1. It’s quite embarrassing, I feel like I’ve failed myself, my host parents, and my future. However, when I step back and think about it, most people here have had spanish beyond mine coming here. At the very least, some have had to take a class possibly over again too. So, why should I be so upset. I am, because I tried so hard. I poured so much time and effort into trying to best this language. However, it is hard, I am older than some of these people (not helping my cause), and I didn’t do well in English either. So, maybe that should reassure me… It just doesn’t though.
I want to be better, I am very competitive, and I hate being the left behind. I will have to study more and more and more. I grow tired of doing so because it involves sacrifice and it isn’t always the most exciting thing to do nor the most popular. I wish I could just wave a magic wand and start understanding these holes in my learning. However, it is never this simple, and I hold this as truth higher than most others. I can’t look back though much more. I must look forward. I need outside internet websites with grammatical explanations because that’s all I can do at the end of the day. It is hard explaining grammar in Spanish, and it just is not explained thoroughly as I need. I need some English to understand the transitional ideas along with the other concepts of Spanish. I will change for myself, and I will do better. Enough with this discussion though, I want to move on.
Nicaragua, I went there this last weekend. What much can be said. I saw beautiful beautiful buildings, people who were more friendly than Costa Ricans, and more poor than I have ever seen in one place at one time. I actually saw a person who was dying in a church, which still haunts my imagery from time to time. I came with a friend of mine, and I was hoping we’d really have fun. However, it was evident she didn’t have time for me to make one simple error anywhere along the way. The error: losing of a ticket and having to buy another, and because of this, the whole weekend I was treated different than before. I will probably not talk to this girl again or at least sparingly at best. It’s weird how people can change so dramatically from initial experiences. It’s almost as if she wanted to not like me or had some hidden reasoning for treating me so poorly. I thought we had gotten along fine and were good friends, I thought wrong. I’ve never seen someone change their personality so dramatically, and despite my efforts to make things better, nothing worked. During my stay, we found some other friends and it diffused the situation some until the final trip back to Costa Rica. I simply buried myself in a book and ignored her as much as possible though and things were better. I am reading a book called The Kite Runner. It’s an amazing book, and I read over 2/3rds of the book over the weekend. If you haven’t read it before, it is highly recommendable.
In other news, we’re starting to get together an all american soccer team to battle other teams in soccer. This includes another american team and other “ticos” (costa ricans). I’m really excited to play and I think everyone else is as well. It should start soon and I couldn’t be more extactic to start playing again. Anyways, I’ve talked more than I need to for one day. I need to head out to work out and do some homework. I’m going to see a movie tonight, and I need to figure out which later.
Time to wake up my senses and shake off the wounds. Nothing is over, and although I’ve been down. I am not out.
So, I think I said something about pictures, so I will start by giving you some from Jacó. Here they come at you:
(Jacó during the day)
(Jacó beach)
(Jacó during sunset)
In other news, I am finishing my last day of intermedio uno or intermediate one of spanish. I’m reallly stoked to finish and start the next class next week. In the mean time I plan on traveling to Nicaragua on Saturday. I’m going with a friend of mine, and we are going to work on getting the tickets and finanilizing plans for it. I bought the book “The Kite Runner” for the trip because it will be 9 hours to Granada, Nicaragua.
Lately, I’ve really felt better about myself. I’ve made better decisions, stuck to my guns, have drank almost nothing at all within about a month, and have changed my medications to bring about a metamorphosis in my life. I’ve felt more awake, more alive, and more at peace with who I am or what I am doing than in a long long time. Pieces of a former life put into perspective, and everything else in between coming at ends with itself. It’s sometimes hard being away from home, but I feel like these changes couldn’t take place without a little distance and some time to clear my head. I’ve seen a lot of people here trying to fill their lives with worthless things that mean nothing in my mind. This has only further pushed me into my own natural habitat away from these things, and into my own sphere of thinking.
It is hard because it is difficult to hang out with friends when you want to due to complications in meeting. However, I’ve filled my life with more moderation and a steady hand when confronted by new temptations or tribulations. In all, I’ve been able to find small blessings in my life and keep my head held high no matter the challenges that seem to perk up. Language is difficult, challenging, but rewarding all in one. I must always keep that in perspective, and I will not betray myself.
I did really well on my last pictures I took during a run to Cartago, a city close by that is more native and has an amazing basillica under which I took pictures. Compared to some in Poland, it pales in comparison. However, it is wonderful to see a different style and another catholic culture so devouted towards God. You can’t help but feel the very presence of God in these places, and the peacefulness of silent prayer all around you.
(The Basillica for which I don’t know the name of in Cartago)
But yes, a test tomorrow and I need to study and sleep more than I am going to get if I continue at this rate. Good night all, love.
